So, obviously, I’ve been out of commission for awhile. The last time I took this long to write a blog, I was throwing up every hour with a monster baby/parasite eating me alive, but don’t get your hopes up Mom, I’m done with babies (until I get baby fever and then all bets are off, so t-minus 5 days from now). The two and a half month absence has been from my inability to do anything like a normal person. A normal person does the minimum, gets things done, crosses tasks off their list, and moves on to a carefree life, but not me.
I have a disorder.
It’s called “Go Big or Go Home Syndrome” and I’ve had it since I was in fourth grade when I created The Star, the first and only newspaper of North Union Street in New Franklin, Missouri. It was a handwritten and illustrated newspaper that I delivered to each mailbox on the street, something I later learned was illegal, but kids get away with that sort of thing. I spent hours copying my original work to ten other tabloid size papers to distribute throughout the neighborhood, to find that my made up news stories were about a week off topic because it took me so long to reproduce my magnificent work. I gave up after one issue, but I’m pretty sure I impressed 50% of the neighbors and irritated the other half.
This mentality stuck with me in my 34 years on this earth. I have always thought of a way to make things bigger and better for school competitions, I took an hour long project in college and made it professional level, and in my adulthood I have volunteered for things that I had no business doing (but let me just toot my own horn here, I volunteered and conquered). Is this a positive trait? No, absolutely not, it’s a terrible trait and if you see your children act like this, lay the smack down now.
This blog has nothing to do with the farm, so it’s completely off topic. There will be no cow mishaps or funny stories about my children eating sheep poop, although there are no limits to those stories. I must explain my absence though, so I have to write about my latest endeavor that has consumed all my time and energy.
On October 16th I successfully threw a wine walk for our local community theater. Some of you may not know what a wine walk is so I’ll explain: a wine walk is located on a town square or main street, with wineries from all over setting up shop in the businesses, and participants purchase a glass from the organizers to taste all the wines offered. We had eight wineries at our wine walk, and they all had at least four different wines. As Paul Pepper, our local radio host who promotes community events, asked me during an interview, “Are people going to have to have designated drivers?” Yes, that would be a good idea!
To back up and explain what made it such a busy time for me would actually start in May, when I started calling wineries all over Missouri. I called, and I emailed, and I Facebook stalked them, until I got ten to agree. I was warned by other organizers of these events that they tend to drop out, so I’d need to find extra or I’d find myself scrambling at the last second. I didn’t want to scramble at the last second (but, as always, I was scrambling at the last second, not about wineries, but the million other things I added). Then it was down to finding businesses to host them on the square, vendors to set up, adding a historical aspect because our theme was a 200th celebration of our county, entertainment, the licensing and legal paperwork to actually do this event, volunteers, raffle prizes, and advertising.
Oh yeah, and I am a stay-at-home mom with two kids, very active, messy boys, and I live in a construction zone without the awesome conveniences such as a working dishwasher. Think of the Amish lifestyle, but I have electricity, except my husband follows me around and shuts off anything I’m using.
My kids have been everywhere with me during this. They have picked up raffle prizes with me, they have visited the businesses to discuss set-up, and one was even with me when I picked up all the wine glasses, just over 500 glasses to be exact, and he did fit in my Pontiac Vibe with all those glasses. He would point at a box in concern, and make his “look” grunt to warn me that something had taken over the car. My older son got in the habit of describing his day to other people in terms of the wine walk, for example:
“We went to the park, then picked up a prize for the wine walk.”
“We walked on the Katy Trail, and then we hung up posters for the wine walk.”
“I built a castle with my Legos while Mommy strong-armed someone into helping with the wine walk.”
“We went to Wal-Mart to pick up stuff for the wine walk and Mommy got me Teddy Grahams and let me play games in what she calls the kid trap by the checkout because she felt bad for making me run all these wine walk errands.” I’m paraphrasing.
During this time, I was not even getting my own occasional glass of wine. One glass and I’m sleeping, and there was no time for sleep.
As I’ve told many people during this experience, I’m just hoping my kids have learned a lot about community involvement and volunteering rather than about wine, or that Mommy is a wino.
My husband also got the raw end of the deal. When things went wrong or weren’t going right, he’d have to hear about it. When it was closer to the wine walk, and my schedule started spiraling out of control, he was also the lucky winner who got to make dinner, do the dishes, and put the kids to bed when I had to work on the computer organizing. Not that I’m farmwife of the year anyway, but had he asked me to help him with something around the farm, he would have gotten the are-you-insane look, so he kindly never asked for help.
He had a good time though. After running all my errands that I asked the night of the wine walk, he was able to go to a couple of wineries. He came back with a bounce in his step and a grin on his face, so I’m assuming he chose the heavy pourers first. He’s not a wine guy, but if it’s as sweet as candy, and if they are also offering food, he’s up for anything.
It was a success: a great fundraiser and a fun time wrapped up in one. I was exhausted when it ended, but a mom’s job is never done. As it turns out, my kids were sick. The following days were filled with running-vomiting because, sadly, there was no fever to slow them down, just vomiting on the go. Laundry in excess was completed before I then too caught the bug, but thankfully mine came with a fever, so I finally got to catch up on all that sleep that I was missing.
Now I’m slowly, but surely, getting my house back in order. It doesn’t look like it, no, but you should have seen it a week ago. Straight up mess and smelled kind of funny.
Basically, I’m writing this blog to do two things:
1. I would like to say thank you to all the people that helped me with this event and who put up with me during this process. My children were my little mascots and met lots of nice people through the process. They’re probably having sugar withdraw right now because everywhere we went they got a sucker, a piece of candy, or even cookies. My husband picked up the slack, ran errands for me, and just sat back and nodded his head, pretending to listen as I rambled about the newest catastrophe that had hit my plans. He deserves a medal, but I’m not going to give him one. That would be admitting that he is helpful sometimes, and admitting that would ruin my long running list of “but I take care of allllll of this” quips.
2. Sell, sell, sell, forever the saleswoman. If you would like a commemorative glass from the FACT wine walk, please send me a comment or message. They are $5 each and there are lots of boxes left. I would really prefer to get rid of them, so buy a whole set before I have to store them in my house next to the other boxes of kitchenware that I’ll never have time to unpack or even use. You’ll have to provide your own wine though, but I can give some very cheap suggestions that a poor stay-at-home mom lives by. Aldi has $3 wine, and it’s in a bottle, not a box. Classy, huh?!
Next week I’ll be back at it, writing about this crazy farm life and all the pizazz that comes with it because I have made a list of all the happenings around here since then, but I had to explain my long absence first. Like I mentioned before, my only other very long absence was when I was pregnant and throwing up a lot, too exhausted to even think, so I also want to make clear, this baby train is closed.
And before you comment with, “You probably did a great job. You’ll do even better next year when you do it again,” my answer is no, no, no, no, and NOOOOOO!