Every year we keep a similar routine when it comes to trick-or-treating. We live in the country, way off the road, so we don’t have any neighbors in safe walking distance to visit, and we also don’t get trick-or-treaters. If anyone would decide to come to our house for trick-or-treating, it would not be a good idea for a number of reasons:
1. My husband is a cranky pants and would hand out leftovers from the refrigerator that he doesn’t want to eat. Just to rub it in, he would probably be eating the kid’s candy right in front of trick-or-treaters as he threw a container of peas and carrots into their Halloween bag.
2. You might have to open various gates to get to our house, and there’s no guarantee that you won’t get shocked on the way down. No, that’s not a fun Halloween trick, that’s my life.
3. We would not be expecting you, so any scary costumes might cost you your life, or we just wouldn’t answer the door. Well, my older son would answer the door because he’s scared of nothing and takes any opportunity to have a conversation and tell others about his toys.
4. Like everyone else, you’d go to the front door, and we don’t live up there, and I’m starting to wonder if we ever will, and we wouldn’t hear you knocking from all the little boy ruckus going on downstairs.
5. Oh yeah, we wouldn’t be there anyway.
We have to travel for trick-or-treating, so as soon as I can get everyone in the car, which is usually later than I had planned, we are on the road, which I like to call “The Aunt and Grandma Candy Train.” First we hit up Aunt Vickie. It takes my older son a moment to warm up at this spot for two reasons: 1.) We once told him that a house down the road from Aunt Vickie’s house was the Bad Boys Home, so he gets nervous anytime we head in that direction and 2.) after reading a Halloween story to him, he decided her house was haunted. He quickly gets over his fears and goes running about her house like he owns it and goes straight to her grandkid’s toys and strips the Barbies naked.
Next we stop by Great Grandma Willie’s house, and always catch her smoking on the porch (which we’re not suppose to know about, so don’t tell her, but she’s 86, so I think she’ll be just fine). Then we stop by Aunt Ardyth’s place, and for the final road tour, we stop by Grandma Kathleen’s digs.
By the time we get to Grandma Kathleen’s, both kids are pretty irritated with all the wardrobe fixes as we put costumes on that won’t fit under car seats and take them off again to hit the road. Also, the oldest is already obtaining a pretty nerve wracking sugar high by this point because he’s sneaking candy that we told him he couldn’t open until the end of the night.
It’s not just a minimal amount of candy that they receive either. You see, we are making the tour of other farmhouses and ladies that don’t get many trick-or-treaters, so they go all out. My sons each get enough candy from one house that they would have received in three or four blocks in town. They have also received other things over the years as well:
They also get to do the town thing as well. The final trip is actually to town so they can trick or treat like a town kid, to get popcorn balls from my mom, or “Maw” as she is referred to, who spends her week before Halloween steadily making a pile of popcorn balls that could fill an entire room. Going to my mom’s is also important so they can stop by the neighbors that go all out for Halloween. This house includes coffins, graves in the yard, a funeral carriage, skeletons, witches, ghouls and goblins, 3-D projected walking skeletons, fog, lights, and the best part, a full Ziploc bag of candy, their choice, technically mommy’s choice, of a large size candy bar, and glow in the dark necklaces.
So my little vampire and monkey were able to visit the relatives, enjoy trick-or-treating like a farm and town kid in one night, and stock up pretty well on candy. Don’t worry, I have already hidden all the candy. Not good enough the first round from preventing my boys from finding it though. My husband knew something was up when it got quiet in the living room and found them sitting between a container of candy with wrappers all other the floor. I hid it again, while also taking my candy tax: Twix, Snickers, basically anything with chocolate, and the good sugar candies.
They are left with Smarties and Tootsie Rolls. :)