I just read through my New Year’s resolution list from two years ago that I posted on the blog. Instead of checking off things that I had completed, I sadly sat here, realizing that the only thing that had been completed was to get rid of Trivia Crack on my phone because it was hampering my efficiency. You know why I got rid of Trivia Crack? I got rid of the smartphone to be a poor stay-at-home mom with a budget that only allows for a Tracfone from Wal-Mart. So basically, I wasn’t technically able to cross off anything from my list. Ugh, how sad, huh?!
I shouldn’t feel so bad. No one actually completes their resolutions. Even John Tesh said that just the other night on his radio show, that only 10% of resolutions are fulfilled.
Oh geez! I’ve fallen so low. I’m now listening and quoting John Tesh.
Don’t laugh, I know you listen too. He also said that the color green cheers you up. Hence, I need to go to Ireland.
Anyway, this time I’m going to make a more realistic list. The last list had a few possibilities that could have been accomplished had all the stars aligned, but most of it was more along the lines of winning the Powerball twice over. So here goes, wish me luck:
1.) My husband and I will go on at least two dates this year that do not involve Home Depot, Menards, Aldi, Harbor Freight, Wal-Mart, physical labor in one of the construction zones we’ve created, or bringing along one or both of our children and pretending they aren’t there. It will involve food (a place of my choosing) and an activity (also of my choosing).
2.) I will not feel like a trapped animal and cry like a baby when my stay-at-home mommy fund that I had saved entirely on my own runs out, which will probably be this year, and I will graciously accept my husband’s assistance as we had planned. But so help me, if he ever says anything about our grocery bill, I will start buying Miracle Whip instead of Hellman’s and get Mountain Lightning in place of Mountain Dew and just wait him out for an apology. He’ll be one packed lunch away from a meltdown.
3.) I will drop my kids off at Grandma’s house more often and not feel bad about it. Yeah, I’m a stay-at-home mom, but I also have goals in life, you know, to take a flipping shower every once in awhile without interruption. My other goal is to take over the world, so I might need a little quiet time to plan that out as well, and both grandmothers have a life’s goal of spoiling my boys, so it’s settled.
4.) This is a repeat, but it’s got to be done. Organize, organize, organize. Go through every unpacked box that’s been sitting around since we moved (over five years ago) and get rid of stuff or find a spot for it.
5.) Win the lottery (just once)! Or mooch off of those family members that actually buy lottery tickets and might have a chance of winning.
Did you notice that none of my resolutions had anything to do with the farm? My husband can keep his ungodly amount of vehicles, tires, and gates. The animals can roam the yard if they want to. I’m kind of getting immune to it. Or possibly, I might be going insane, so maybe next year’s resolution will be to take my anti-anxiety medication everyday. Who knows, only time will tell.
Happy New Years! Remember, it’s great to have resolutions, but don’t panic if you suck at them too. John Tesh said it’s okay, we’re just like everybody else except for that 10% of rotten human beings that want to rub it in our faces that they have more discipline than the rest of us.