I haven’t had a real date night in a long time. Once upon a time, B.C. (Before Children), we were badasses at date night. I had done years of footwork getting my husband to view a date and time as a fixture, not a moving target. It took arguments, tantrums, and finally just leaving him running down the driveway trying to slip on his shoes as I drove away to go by myself (don’t worry, he usually caught me at the gate). We liked to try new, adventurous foods and often had Thai, Indian, Mediterranean, or sushi. He would try anything, often saying that he would just get a basic teriyaki dish at the sushi place because he couldn’t trust raw fish, then eating most of my sushi. We saw movies, musicals, and plays. I even surprised him with a super date, a flight to Minneapolis and tickets to A Prairie Home Companion. Nerdy stuff, I know, but that’s how we roll. Now, we plan dates around our needs at Home Depot, Aldi, or Orscheln.
I think most of our friends are like this as well. I see random posts on Facebook or share a joke with my friends about their own “date nights” that have turned into a three hour trip to see how many errands can be crossed off the list at once with a quick trip to Chipotle rounding out the date portion of the night. I have gone on a date that began in an old milk van, and yes, the jokes I heard all the way to dinner were inappropriate. It ended with Olive Garden, and a van full of sheetrock, a tub, and a toilet.
I think I remember the beginning of the slow progression of the breakdown of our dates. We were going out to eat and came home with piglets. It all starts out so harmless.
The date is a casualty of adulting, but I also know that I have friends who have normal date nights, friends who have children, businesses, ambition, and even do other things that we don’t, like exercise, and they still have time for a normal date. It seems that they have learned something that I am just now learning. Date night is sacred!
I’d like to do one of the following soon to swiftly reinstate the normal date back into our lives:
This is my goal for the summer - to go on a real date. It’s so hard to accomplish even though it sounds simple. When you live out in the country, any drive to town is gas guzzling, and so we automatically assume it should be jam-packed with things to accomplish. The purpose of a date should also be to concentrate on each other though, and it’s hard to do that if you’re instead concentrating on work, home, or getting some Drano because your oldest feels the need to use a whole roll of toilet paper after a number two.
In case my husband reads this and also decides it’s time to go on a real date, I should also come up with a list of discussion questions to focus on our date since our discussions almost always deal with our house, farm, and work. Hmmmm….How was your day? What have you been reading lately? Which kid is your favorite?
I’ll start with that.